Distinguish Yourself!!!
The Personal Statement (on the Common App) or PIQs (on the UC apps) is your chance to distinguish yourself. The Admissions Committee already has your transcripts, test scores, teacher recs, extracurriculars, and community involvements. They know what you've done, but they don't know who you are. The essay paints a picture of you that encourages the admissions team to realize that you belong on their campus. Good essays take time, effort, patience, care, and a willingness to put up with multiple rounds of revision...probably more than you've ever done! It's a good idea to use the summer before senior year to get the essay out of the way. I will help you explore different sides of you so that we can pick which ones to feature. Below is a breakdown of some of the aspects I help you explore.
PRE-WRITE
The pre-writing phase is a bit of a mess, and it's supposed to be! It's important not to decide on a topic and approach too soon. First, you need to play around with ideas, brainstorm, try things out, and see what you have to work with. I'll help you
- Brainstorm, freewrite, list, cluster, loop, map, and draw your thoughts
- Figure out what makes you tick, what makes you unique
- Play around with ideas
- Explore what parts of your personality and life experiences to feature
- Narrow your topic and decide on your story
- Explore different narrative structures to find out which ones bring out the most
- Sketch a tentative outline
DRAFT
In the words of author Anne Lamott, "The first draft is the child's draft, where you let it all pour out and then let it romp all over the place, knowing that no one is going to see it and that you can shape it later." That, I kid you not, is from an essay titled "Shitty First Drafts." In the drafting stage, I'll help you
- Shape your own authentic voice
- Communicate your passions, your commitments, your quirks
- Demonstrate your ability for self-reflection
- Develop a very tentative rough draft
- Develop your draft with memorable examples that lend your essay an air of authenticity
- Avoid common cliches
- Sound self-confident but not arrogant
REVISE
Now is the time to talk to the perfectionist in you. The first draft can be shitty, the second and third drafts can be less shitty. By the fourth draft, after you have revised and revised again, something decent emerges. Once we get to drafts 5, 6, 7, even 8, it's gone from good to spectacular. Each revision, I'll guide you through specific aspects to consider, and we will explore possibilities for a catchy-but-not-cliche opener and a satisfying-but-not-trite conclusion.
- Can you improve your examples? Are they communicating something significant about who you are and what kind of person you will be on campus?
- Are you showing instead of telling? Is your language vivid enough?
- Do you need to tighten your sentences to eliminate wordiness?
- Can we free up space to jam more meaning, pow, wow, and pizazz into the word count?
- Is everything organized, and are your transitions smooth?
- Anything awkward, unclear, or redundant?
- Is there anything more we can squeeze out of you in terms of communicating your passions, values, personality, insights, and commitments?
EDIT
This is the boring--but absolutely necessary--part we save for last. There are 650 words to dot the i's and cross the t's on. I'll offer a
- Final proofread
- Spelling check
- Double-check to ensure you meet all formal requirements before you press SUBMIT (format, word count, etc.)